Egypt, 2560 B.C. “Ahh finally, we finished the blasted pyramids! It’s the least we could do after they fixed our rocket I guess.” The alien wiped his brow. “Well, we better pack up and head out.” Responded another. After packing up they got in their ship and flew away. On the way back they passed by a wormhole. It sucked them in quickly and in the blink of an eye, they were somewhere new. “Where are we? We should probably be getting back soon.” Traveling throughout space they came across a small green planet. “If we are gonna be stuck here, I suppose we should find a place to stay.” They flew over and landed on the planet. “I shall call this planet, Cabinê.”
Crime City, Present Day. Deadly Sausage has just got out of bed and was preparing to go to the store. Once he got some breakfast he headed out. It was a nice day, and the sun was illuminating the dark city, casting large shadows on the empty roads. It’s been a while since I was out this early. It seems like a good chance to catch some bad guys. The air around felt cold and uninviting. He was walking through the abandoned parking lot, and he had the strange feeling he was being watched. Behind him, he felt a sudden presence, and when he turned around he was greeted by a group of figures.
Deadly Sausage quickly put his hand by his waist, ready to pull out his handgun. “Who are you?!” He shouted as he backed away. The figures said nothing and didn’t move. “Come on, didn’t you hear me? Who are you?” He asked again, now aggravated. The middle silhouette stepped forward. Now that it was in the light, Deadly Sausage saw that they were wearing a hooded cloak, and their face was covered. The man slowly began to take off his hood, and Deadly Sausage wrapped his hand around the pistol’s grip. Deadly Sausage clenched his teeth, and unsheathed his firearm, the figure was fully revealed. What is that thing?! It was unlike anything Deadly Sausage had ever seen, it’s face was olive green, with an enlarged cranium and round black eyes around the size of a baseball. Great, I just went to get groceries and now I’m the first contact for a group of aliens. He pulled his gun up, aiming at the main one. The others took off their hoods, and they were all similar looking.
“Fear not, we come in peace.” Said one of the aliens. “We have come in search of resources and companionship.” Deadly Sausage was quick to reply. “We’re kind of lacking in both of those in a moment, could you come back later?” The alien in the front wrinkled his brow. “If you are not willing then we will have to take it!” He shouted and pulled out some sort of gun.“I wouldn’t recommend that! You don’t know what you’re up against!” Shouted Deadly Sausage, now smirking. The others pulled out their weapons. I warned them, now this should be fun!
One of them fired at Deadly Sausage, but he quickly dodged it with ease. He looked over his shoulder, expecting a small burn mark, only to be surprised by a gaping hole going straight through the supermarket’s wall. Looks like things are about to get exciting! He dove at the front alien, knocking over them and taking away their weapon. He aimed it at the alien on his left, and his pistol aimed at the alien on his right. “I suggest you all surrender, or you just might die where you stand!” The aliens all had terrified expressions on their faces, and one of them pressed a button on his wrist. “What did you just do?” He asked as he pointed both weapons towards the alien. They wrinkled their brow, “You may have bested us, but a ship is arriving any second now to bring us to our base, you can’t stop our invasion, no matter how hard you try. I can promise you, wherever you go, we will conquer it, this puny planet shall be ours!” This guy has got to be kidding? They don’t seriously think they can take over this world purely with strength? Deadly Sausage smirked. “Fools… You can’t invade if you have evaporated!” He shot several rounds of the alien energy blaster, decimating the aliens.
Can I go get my groceries now? Oh wait, I gotta hitch a ride back to the base on the ship. He looked towards the horizon, and sure enough, a disk-shaped ship was speeding over. He hid behind his car, and soon enough the ship landed, and the alien got out, searching for the others. Deadly Sausage threw a rock at its large head, and they fell to the floor unconscious. He entered the ship and looked quite perplexed. Maybe I should have asked for an instruction manual first. I can assume that this big lever in the front is the control, but I can’t be sure about the rest. He grabbed onto the lever and trusted it forward, which put the ship into drive. After a moment of experimenting, he figured it out and was off. “Salami, give me directions to the nearest top-secret alien base.” ‘Ok, getting directions to Super Secret Cabinetite Base.’
After a while of flying, he was there. ‘In 200 meters turn right.’ So glad I didn’t have to look for myself. He landed the ship at a hill a few hundred feet away. The base was sitting in a large crater and was built around a fallen meteorite. He crept up to an entrance in the back and tried to quietly open the door. ‘CREEEEEAAAAK’ He looked up, and a group of aliens was staring at him. “Uhhh, It’s not what it looks like! I’m definitely not sneaking in so I can blow up this base!” Nailed it! They don’t suspect a thing! He slowly closed the door with another loud creak. But for practice, I might as well find a better entrance.
He went around front, and there were hundreds of the aliens waiting for him, all of them armed and prepared. Guess my plan wasn’t as good as I thought. They were staring angrily at him. “Hey guys, first off, I just wanna say, I like your weapons, where’d you get them? And secondly… This is just a BIG misunderstanding, I was just visiting, I’ll be on my way now.” He turned around and started to slowly walk away. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” He turned around, A tall alien wearing a gold-laced robe stepped out of the crowd. “I doubt I need any introduction, my goons probably told you a thousand times.” “Nope, not even once.” The alien looked disappointed.
“Then I guess I should introduce myself, I am the great šűŷŏłĵīœ, but the Egyptians called me Ra.” Who are the Egyptians? What is he talking about? “I changed my form and was praised as a god, but it seems your society isn’t that naive. You are the first being to see my true form, and still, be alive for this long.” “Well, I’d like to stay that way so I’ve just got one thing to do.” He pulled out his firearm and aimed it at the base of a ship. The ship exploded with a gigantic blast and lit the base on fire. The group of aliens began to panic and started firing wildly, accidentally shooting each other. Deadly Sausage turned around and began to slowly walk away. And… 3, 2, 1, Boom. The massive meteorite inside the base exploded with a powerful blast. “I need to find a catchphrase.” He thought aloud and put on his shades. Well, this was fun, but I should probably go get my groceries, and maybe a sandwich.
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